Its been too long since I’ve posted. In fact, this is the first time I’ve missed my two week mark in a year and three months. I’m not proud of it. But the reality is that I have just had too many things to juggle for the last few months as I began in a new direction in life. Mostly for the sake of posting something, here is what I’ve been up to, and what I have learned in the process.
A Ship That’s Taking On Water
As of February, I have moved cities again, and decided to dedicate my time to working for myself and trying to make a way to survive on my own. I have begun working for three app based services, while picking up work for a film production company, all while also trying to put in some serious full time hours trying to make something happen with my music and seeing if I can make some form of career out of it.
This has caused a few things to happen.
- I’ve begun to lose touch with friends
- I forgot a few bill due dates
- I slacked on responsibilities
- self-discipline went completely out the window
- I began to feel like I was working all the time, but wasn’t having much to show for it
- I never felt productive
- I began to feel drained all the time
- I began staying up too late, and consequently sleeping too late
- Depression got worse
- I felt completely out of control
All of these things and more happened in just about 6-8 weeks. It turns out that it doesn’t take much for me to spiral completely out of control and feel totally hopeless. It felt like being on a boat that was suddenly taking on water. In mere moments, the whole thing was sinking and it was all falling apart.
But recently I realized that it wasn’t necessarily that I was taking on too much. I felt pretty confident that I could handle juggling different responsibilities, jobs, and tasks. My issue was in how I was managing my time.
So I sat down and I laid it all out in front of me.
- I looked at when was the ideal and most profitable days for each job, and decided to focus on blocking off time for each job on certain days or certain hours of those days.
- Then I blocked off sections of the week for consecutive days of working the same schedules that would benefit most in terms of profitability.
- Once I saw how my week should look, and that I had time for everything to work together and even have an off day if the week was profitable enough for me to make my goals, then came the hard part.
It was once I had a plan that I saw what I needed to do. The only way I was going to make all this happen was to make some intense compartmentalization happen. This isn’t easy and takes an immense amount of discipline. If you recall, discipline is something I’ve been lacking lately, so this has been a challenge.
The key seemed to be that I needed to be unwaveringly faithful to my schedule. Which meant when its time for job A, then I only think about job A. When it came time for job B, then I could work on my tasks and priorities for that job.
It sounds simple, but I’ve discovered its not that simple in practice. I tend to want to jump around to different things, desperately trying to hold it all together, but not really accomplishing anything productive or making any progress in any area. So I was spending a lot of time “working”, but not really doing anything or having anything to show for it.
Where The Rubber Meets The Road
I’ve had this new system in place for a week now and I’ve accomplished more in 5 days than I have in the last month.
The best part is that when I turn it all off at night, I actually get to relax, knowing there will be time for all of it tomorrow. Or when I get a day off (which is rare right now), I get to be present in each moment and not worry about anything else that I’m not taking care of. I get to soak in the restfulness and create balance for my life in a meaningful and healthy way.
Now I will admit that I haven’t actually had an off day yet. But it seems solid in theory. I’ll let you know how it goes when I get there.
Hopefully this system will also make time for more blog posts. This blog has become quite therapeutic for me, as well as being a major component in creating change and growth in my life in creativity, writing, and just in my life over all. So I hope to continue writing posts.
I will say that I will probably broaden my content a bit. I love the challenge of journalistic writing, but it takes exponentially more time and energy, which I don’t always have the luxury of these days. So I may revert back to last year’s format for the sake of consistency and frequency of posts. But my rule still stands that I never want to release a post that is more like a journal entry and only self-reflective. If it doesn’t have content that I feel could benefit others, or has something that you, the reader, can take away from it, then it feels like a waste of time. So I hope you feel that this is consistent with that rule.
Until next time…