Let’s face it, getting through your twenties can be quite the daunting task. There’s the slower metabolism that adds more reasons for you to be exercising regularly on what feels like an almost daily basis, your first grey hair sighting, the reality that you no longer relate to teenagers in any way whatsoever, and the fact you can’t mooch off your parents health insurance anymore. But there are upsides too! How about lower car insurance? Or balanced hormones that makes you just more mellow? Or getting into your later twenties and people finally taking you more seriously as a human?
But alas, we cannot escape those damn reminders that we are officially getting older. Here are my favorite 10 reminders. (And by favorite, I mean I hate them. I bet you do too. Let the collective audible sighing commence!)
1. Having To Google Everything
Do you remember the days where you actually knew every current cultural reference? Me either. It’s been that long. Now-a-days, we are banished to a world where google is our best friend in social settings with mixed generational company. We stumble along until someone references The Daily Show, SNL, Their newest swap shop finds, their favorite coffee, or what new home project they just took on, and what they will be getting this saturday at Home Depot. Long gone are the days where we are “in the know.” Which brings me to numbero dos….
2. Constantly Having To Learn New Slang
When I was a kid, the only acronyms we used were “a/s/l” In AOL chat rooms, LOL (which to this day still has multiple meanings, depending on your age. It’s Laugh Out Loud, people. Get it right), and BRB. We also only had AIM to communicate. None of this texting nonsense. Now we just smile and nod while today’s youngsters speak in all acronyms and abbreviated English, while not knowing how to spell acronym…or abbreviated (or how to sign their name.) We are also old enough to use the phrase “when I was a kid” and other variations of the phrase…which is scary all by itself.
3. Seeing Your Friend’s Younger Siblings All Grown Up.
It feels like just yesterday your best friend’s younger siblings were following you around, touching everything you own, trying to participate in your conversations, tattling on you to mom and dad, and bugging the hell out of you constantly. Now they are driving, going to college, having their own Instagram, twitter, and Facebook. They are drinking, going to parties, and you constantly feel like they are too young to do any of that. Then you see them getting married and having babies, which makes you feel like death is practically knocking your front door down. The insanity!
4. Your Childhood Trends Are Making A Comeback
Female cargo pants, full length AND Capri style. Khaki pants with elastic ankles. Next we’ll see flared bleached jeans, neon tank tops, long hair on men, and grunge rock making a comeback….Wait…That already happened didn’t it? As long as poofy sleeves and shoulder pads in shirts don’t come back…We already have to deal with mustaches again. A Sign of the times people. Jesus’ return is near. It’s the only explanation. Or we are just that old.
5. Buying Household Items Is The Highlight Of Your Week
Does your heart race at the thought of a day trip to IKEA? Palms get sweaty just thinking about getting that dream chair, couch, dining set, or kitchen faucet? How about that awesome shower head with 23 functions? Or the totally badass book shelf lights or inner cabinet lighting they have? Oh man…I get dizzy just thinking about it. So many possibilities, so little time. You used to have much simpler goals: Make good grades, get a good job, have enough money for alcohol to make your weekends awesome. Now you just want to have the hippest home office, the fastest computer, the best couch to binge watch Netflix on, and the best work bench with a place for all tools on the wall (or is that just me?). My, how your goals have changed. Welcome to your almost thirties!
6. Life Goal: Build All Your Furniture.
Eventually you will graduate from buying furniture to only wanting to build your furniture. Once you have entered the DIY life, there’s no going back. This is the mile marker that lets you know you are officially on the brink of your thirties. Don’t be alarmed. This just means you’ve finally gained the common sense of an economic lifestyle, while simultaneously discovering the best way to have an original home (look at you! Multi-tasking. Impressive!)… Only it won’t be original because you’re totally going to hit up Pintrest and get all your ideas from the million other people who have already done it. But hey, A for effort! You do you.
7. You No Longer Get ID’d
I actually can’t remember the last time I was ID’d honestly. Mandatory IDing doesn’t count. The scarier realization was the recent discovery that even when I shaved my beard off I still didn’t get ID’d for anything. Not even shaving makes me look younger anymore! Its at this point that you realize there’s no hope. At one time in your life you wished you looked older so you could have that sought after freedom of getting into any place or buying whatever you wanted. Now that youthful look has officially faded. You can buy whatever you want and get into any place without any trouble whatsoever. Yet it lost the luster and allure it once had. What’s worse is you only go out once a month now anyway, so it doesn’t even matter. That’s life for ya.
8. You No Longer Settle For The Cheapest Wine/Beer/Whiskey
You’ve spent some years on this planet. You know things. There’s no going back to the kegs of Natty Light, PBR, Bottles of Yellowtail, and bottom shelf Burnett’s. It’s hard to imagine drinking the stuff. Now its all about quality over quantity. It’s not about getting plastered with your friends on Friday night. It’s about having a fine scotch on hand to sip while discussing heavy topics, reading a good book, or just simply staring off into the night with a good cigar on the porch. Good wine paired with good food, or Imported beer to share with your best friends around the fire pit out back. This is the life now. And you’ve probably realized this life is so. much. better. Welcome to the finer side of life. It’s the little things now. Enjoy it. You’ve earned it.
9. Realizing You’re A Decade Older Than Most Of Hollywood
I love college football. I still remember watching it as a kid and thinking that the players seemed so much older. Now I watch it and realize I’m 10 years older than the freshmen. Dear God…When they graduate from college, I’ll be in my thirties….So consider the realization that you’re older than most cultural icons. Half the A-list actors are under 25! Think on that for a moment. You’re welcome.
10. You’re Almost A Decade From Being 40
If you haven’t had this realization yet, then congratulations; You haven’t hit your quarter life crisis yet. But once you do have this realization, you will have it annually and fall into a bit of a month long depression. Don’t be alarmed, this is perfectly normal.
So there are your 10 reasons you feel old in your late twenties. Yeah, there are definitely a bunch of negative hurdles you have to jump over to get to your thirties. But there are a lot of good things too. Chances are by this point you have discovered what you want to do with your life. You are finally getting your shit together. That is something to be proud of. You’ve realized that your late twenties are so much better than your college years or even post college years. You’re making real friends, and spending your time doing things that really matter. You are finally beginning to achieve a real level of common sense and true wisdom because you’ve been alive long enough to acquire some legitimate life experience. You are in the prime of your life. Able to adapt to any situation. Still able to relate to people in their early twenties, while also finally feeling comfortable having relationships with people in their thirties and forties. And you know the value of things in life and how to be thankful for what you have.
Welcome to your late twenties; where you finally feel good about yourself, your decisions, and the world around you. Cheers!
The list could have been way more than 10 things. Did I miss anything? What is your favorite thing about your twenties? What’s the worst thing? Comment below! We gotta stick together!